Justin Bieber: hey
Justin Bieber: I’m back with a new album
Justin Bieber: ruining your life
Justin Bieber: I bet you missed me
Justin Bieber: lol of course you did
Justin Bieber: this new music I’ve written
Justin Bieber: will destroy your ovaries
Justin Bieber: Then I’ll release a shirtless beach music video
Justin Bieber: then I’ll tour
Justin Bieber: And give the OLLGs lapdances every night
Justin Bieber: and sexually fustrate the fuck out of you
Justin Bieber: And make pervy tweets
Justin Bieber: then everything will be fine
Justin Bieber: lol but I’m not coming to your city
Justin Bieber: but I’ll still ruin you anyway
Justin Bieber: Your grades will fail, you’ll start stalking me again, all your money will be spent on my merch, you’ll constantly be sexually frustrated, and fangirling will be your life again
Justin Bieber: and you’ll love it
Me: okay